The Stars That Guide Us
by redeclipse516
Summary: She loved her not because she was the person everyone wanted, but because of the quiet moments when her façade fell and the true Alison showed herself.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belong to the creators of pretty little liars.**

**Authors Note: This is my first fanfiction so I will accept constructive criticism on how to be a better writer for you guys. I hope you enjoy the story. R&amp;R **

Chapter 1

"_According To Greek____Mythology____the first humans were created with four arms, four legs and four eyes. They had two noses and two mouths and they terrified Zeus. He believed they had eminent powers and feared there would come a day when one would take his place as Ruler. To prevent such an incident from ever occurring, Zeus split each human in half and left them to wander aimlessly around the mortal world searching for their other half. Their one true soul mate. Kind of gives deeper meaning to "You Complete Me__"_

**Emily POV**  
I was mesmerized completely mesmerized. I don't know if it was the way her lips curved into a radiant smile that broke hearts at first glance or the way her eyes sparkled so much that stars above us were envious. All I knew was that I loved someone who would never love me back. That wasn't even the half of it. This person was not only my best friend, but a girl. I first realized I was not the textbook definition of normal when I was twelve. While all the girls were checking out Lucas I was checking out his twin sister. Though it took me a long battle with demons I hope to never encounter again. I was finally able to accept myself. Though that doesn't mean I'm ready for the world's assessment of me.

The abrupt ringing of my alarm stirs me out of my thoughts. I look over towards the blinking numbers telling me its 5:00. Yet another sleepless night thinking about someone I can't have. Why do I torture myself? I get up stretch and head into the bathroom. After my shower I head downstairs to grab an apple before heading off to school for practice.

"Emily is everything alright" My mother asks after a few minutes of staring at me.

"Yeah, everything is fine. Why?" I asked my mother putting a smile on my face to top it off,

"Nothing you just seem quieter these days and you look like you haven't had sleep in weeks. Are you sure everything fine?" My mother persistent in her line of questioning. I swear her job at the police station has done more harm than good.

"Yes mom I'm sure I'm fine" I say getting a little annoyed at her repetition.

"Sorry I'm just making sure. How about you get out tonight and go out on a date with that nice boy, what was his name again?"

I looked my mother in the eye slightly clenching my jaw. "You mean Ben."

"Yes, now there was a nice boy. Why did you two break up again?" My mother asked

Taking slow breaths. I looked at the ground trying to calm my thoughts. First, I have to spend my days with my mother repeatedly asking me why I ended things with Ben. I don't know mom maybe because I don't like it when a boy tries to force himself on me after I tell him I'm not interested! Secondly, coach has been riding us so hard lately with our match against Brentwood tomorrow. Oh yeah have I mentioned I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend who happens to be a girl! No mom there's no reason I should be anything but happy. Exhaling slowly I finally manage to speak.

"Mom I'm not interested in Ben anymore can you please drop it." Before she could say another word I was out the door and heading to school.

Once I reached the school I immediately went to the locker room changed and went out to the pool. The cold water rushed through me and I felt as if everything that ever weighed on me was soundly ash washed away by the water. There were only four things in my life that brought on this cathartic feeling. Swimming, which makes the world seem inexistent. Music, I started learning to play guitar from my dad when I was 4 years old and not only continued, but started to learn how to play other instruments. When I was 8 my mom forced me to join the church choir where I found my love for singing. Though no one besides me parents and some members of the church know the full extent of my musical passion. Third is whenever my dad hugs me. My dad is the greatest person I ever met and I can only hope that I will be a quarter of the person he is. Last but definitely not least and maybe the most effective solace of them all is the moments I spend with Ali. The true Alison not the façade she puts on in front of the world, but the loving, caring and happy person she is behind closed doors when it's just the two of us.

The bell rings signaling the end of practice. I hop out of the pool change and head towards class. The girls and I don't share many classes this year. Only lunch and the last period which is English.

The bell rings and I head off to lunch. As a turn the corner I bump into someone. I glance up to see who it is and my mouth suddenly dries while all the air surrounding and in me disappears. Alison was dressed in short shorts even though they could barely qualify as so with a yellow halter top. My eyes ran up and down her body as my mind began to wonder into thoughts that can only be described as unholy.

"Em my eyes are up here." Alison says with a smirk on her face while a scarlet color envelopes my face completely.

"Uhh yeah I-I-I-I know I just really like that outfit." I say as I turn my face to the ground hoping she doesn't notice the blush covering my face, but the smirk on her lips tells me otherwise.

She looks around at the empty hallway, once satisfied she steps closer to me and I take a step back my back pressing up against the wall. The proximity between becomes truly clear when I feel her warm breath on face. "I'm glad that you like it." She says in a whisper as she looks down at my lips and I look at hers. If I were to move just a centimeter up we would be kissing. Just as I gather to move my head forward she backs away with a smile and skips off towards the cafeteria. What the fuck was that. Do you see why it is so hard for me to get over someone who repeatedly tempts me every second she gets? Both unconsciously and consciously.

"Someone please help me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Hello firstly I would like to thank all those who favorite or followed my story. You all have made me unbelievably happy and I will try my best to make my story as good as you deserve****. I would also ask that if you have any suggestions seeing as this my first fanfiction please PM or review with your ideas. Thank you and enjoy!**

**Emily Pov**

I finally made it to lunch to see Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Alison sitting eating lunch. I took my regular seat next to Hanna and across from Alison. I look up only to catch Alison staring at me with a soft smile to which I instantly reciprocated. Hanna looked over and the soft smile that once occupied Alison's face was now turned into the harden shell she pretends to be though not as hard as it is around others outside of this group we've created.

"Hey Em what took you so long." Hanna says shifting her so it laid between the two of us. This was also a regular occurrence seeing as Hanna class was closest to the cafeteria so she got here early piled her tray with food we both like knowing I'm usually late to lunch.

"Ugh nothing just got a little held up." I said with a smile quickly looking at Alison who I noticed was also looking at me. When I turned back to Hanna she looked as if she saw the exchange, but put it off to a later time.

Changing the subject I said "So Aria how's it going with Mr. Fitz." She smiled and started going into details about a date at a poetry club they had coming up this Saturday which of course set Hanna off onto talking about her and Caleb.

"So he did this thing with his tong-" Before she could finish she was interrupted.

"Hanna!" Spencer practically yell setting us on fits of laughter as Hanna did her signature _what did I do wrong_ face. Just as we were coming down from our fits of laughter Noel approached our table with a smug look on his face.

"Hey Alison" He said smiling at her.

"Hey Noel what do I owe the pleasure." Alison replied in a flirty tone which immediately caused the walls of my heart to crack.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted accompany me to my party on Saturday. That is if the infamous Alison is actually without plans." He ended with a sexy smirk that made me want to punch his lights out and kick him where no guy likes to be kicked until he isn't able to bear children. Wow when did I get so violent?

Alison paused and after what feels as century's she looked up at me with a look I can only describe a guilt before turning to Noel with a flirty smile of her own and saying "I would love to go with you Noel pick me up at my house at 8." Noel just nodded and smiled before walking away. I felt my heart shatter and immediately stood and gathered my things.

"Where are you going?" Hanna asked.

"I just remembered coach wanted me to meet her to go over some things for the game tomorrow." As I said this Hanna gave me a sad look. I wanted to ask her about it, but me need to leave was greater and with that I left the cafeteria without even a look at Alison. I made my way to the pool area which I knew would be empty. I sat down on the bleachers and allowed my emotions to take over.

Why did I have to love her? I felt tears making their way down on my face and immediately wiped them away. I began to think back on when I first realized my feelings for Alison.

_Flashback _

_I was at my twelfth birthday party sleepover with the girls. Everyone besides me and Alison were asleep. When Alison suddenly pulled my arm signaling me to come out of the room with her._

"_Alison where are we going." I said with a goofy grin on my face. I love all my friends especially Hanna whom I've known since I was 4, but I love Alison in way I've never experienced. It terrifies and leaves me breathless at the same time. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a tug on my arm only to see a smiling Alison pulling towards the door. I followed Alison down the stairs and out the house to the back yard. She sat down on the ground looked up at me and patted the space next to her. I sat down next to her and turned towards her and asked "Alison what are we doing out here."_

_She just pointed to the sky. I looked up in awe at all the stars as I looked back at Alison I saw she wore the same face I probably just had. I never realized how beautiful Rosewood was, but looking at Alison I realized nothing on earth could compare to her. Has she always been this beautiful?_

_Alison laid down and I soon followed which left us laying side by side sending what felt like electric jolts through my body. Has it always been that way? I looked up at the stars trying to distract myself, two of them caught my interest. One was bright red flaring and showcasing it's colors while the one right next to shined blue not as predominantly as the red, but not meekly either._

"_You know" I started off as Alison turned to face me giving me her full attention. "You see those two stars." I pointed making it easier for her to spot them. She nodded "They kind of remind me of you and me." She furrowed her brow in confusion so I continued "I mean look at the red one glowing as if the only star in the sky, but not so much as to completely conceal the blue one next to it who is glowing bright, but allowing the red star to show the world how beautiful it is. You, like the red star shine so bright that anyone next to you get the experience some of that glow, yet never outshine you. I on the other hand am like the blue star. I shine brightly, but never enough to out do you because I want the world to see just how amazing you are." I said the final sentence looking straight into her eyes. _

_She was quiet for a while. "Alison are you ok?" I asked worried I may have freaked her out. She just smiled that radiant smile of hers and nodded before laying back down. I followed her example hoping I didn't go too far. Just as I thought this I felt a peck on my check and looked over at Alison._

"_Don't ever change Em. No matter what. Promise me." She said with a pleading voice._

"_I promise." I said looking her straight in the eyes. She just smiled kissed my check again before standing and walking towards the door. "Come on Em we should get some sleep." She called over before disappearing into the house leaving me outside completely and utterly confused. I thought about the night and my eyes grew in what I would call comically if not for the circumstance. I was in love with Alison. Oh shit!_

_End of Flashback_

It was the best and worst moment of my life. I heard the bell and pulled out my phone to check my face once content I headed to my last class of the day with Mr. Fitz. As I walked into the room I saw none of the girls were there yet so I took a seat all the way in the back. I was in no mood for questions and just felt like laying my head on the desk so I did. After a couple of minutes of peace I heard the clearing of a throat looked up and saw the whole class was looking at me. Including four stares that had a hint of worry in them.

"Sorry Mr. Fitz." I say looking down sheepishly

"It's ok Emily just don't let it become a reoccurring thing." I just nodded my head

"Alright class take out your book and finish up reading of Lord of the Flies." I took out my book and ignored the stares my friends were giving me.

As the period was almost finished Mr. Fitz spoke again "I want a paper describing the darkness in man's heart. Whether it was derived due to the stay on the Island or was it an entity we are all born with. The paper is due next week Friday." With that the bell rung and we were on our way. I started to put my things away, but before I could leave I was surrounded by Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Alison.\

"What's wrong?" Hanna said beating everyone to the punch

"Nothing." I said trying to sound indifferent.

"Bullshit." Hanna replied

"Hanna!" Spencer shouted

"What it is." She says to Spencer before turning back to me "First you leave lunch with a flimsy excuse, then you show up to class acting all glun."

"It's glum Hanna. Glum." Spencer said emphasizing the M.

"Okay whatever. Glum, then you ignore us the whole class." She finished off. I looked at all my friends who were looking at me expectantly though I made sure to skip over a certain blonde knowing if I looked into her eyes I would crack.

"Honestly Hanna it's nothing, it's just with all the pressure from coach and my teammates constantly reminding how much their depending on me it's just taking a toll that's all." I looked her in the eyes hoping she'd believe me. She seemed reluctant, but reluctantly gave in.

"Alright guys I have to get to practice." I said trying to worm my way out of the room, but Hanna grabbed my arm before I could get out.

"Before you go I just wanted to tell you were having a sleepover at my place tonight." She said

"Hanna I don't know." I started before she gave me her best pout.

"Fine I'll come after practice." I said as she jumped up and down before hugging me. I smiled at her welcomed childish behavior and said "I got to go see you guys later." Hanna let go of me and smiled. I got my stuff and walked out the room without sparing a look at Alison only to realize that I doomed myself to a whole night of torture seeing as Alison would be spending the night as well. I really must love torturing myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Hi guys I would just like to thank everyone again for following or putting the story as a favorite. So I have a general idea of where I plan on taking the story, but by all means send me your suggestions and comments and I'll try to do my best to incorporate them or just your opinion so far. I would like to give a shout out to Sabertuth and infinitefalling for being the first to review. I would also like to apologize for the late update. I just started my senior year and I have to take so many on to the story****. **

**Emily Pov**

Practice was finally finished thank God and I was on my way to the locker room to change when coach called me over.

"Hey coach you need something." I asked

"You seemed a little distracted during practice I just wanted to see where your head is." Coach said looking at me with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Ugh I just have a lot on my mind sorry." I said looking her in the eye.

"Well Emily you can't make mistakes like you did today. McCullers passed you without a second thought." Coach said starting to get a little irritated.

"I know coach. I'm sorry I promise I'll be on top of my game if not better tomorrow." I said with in serious tone. She looked at me for a second before replying "You better. You have a whole squad of girls counting on you."

"I know coach." I said getting annoyed. It's not like I'm the only girl on the team.

"Alright get out of here." Coach said before walking away. I took a deep breath held it for a couple of seconds before releasing it, a technique I learned to help me cope when I'm stressed rather than succumbing to the methods I once used. Shaking those plaguing thoughts from my head I hastily walked towards the locker room changed and all but fled to my car. Once I was situated in my car I started it getting ready to head home when my phone started vibrating. The screen showed an incoming message from Hanna.

_From: HannaBanana_

_Hey Bitch! You done with practice. xoxo_

_**To: HannaBanana**_

_**Wow really feeling the love lol and yeh y xoxo**_

_From: HannaBanana_

_You kno I love u and don't tell me u forgot about the sleepover xoxo_

Shit why did I agree to that again. Banging my head against the steering wheel I replied.

_**To: HannaBanana**_

_**You know Han I'm not feeling up to it. I just came from practice and I'm tired.**_

_From: HannaBanana_

_EMILY FIELDS THERE NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE WORMING YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS SLEEPOVER NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!_

I flinched a little at the text knowing the last thing I want on my hands is an angry Hanna. I shudder to think what she would do if I didn't show up. I sigh and reply.

_**To: HannaBanana**_

_**Fine I'm on my way….**_

I pull away from the school and head towards Spencer's house seeing as we have every sleepover there. I take the longest route, but it seems as if I only get there faster. I park my car in the driveway and sigh. It's not like I can make up an excuse and go home for clothes or something. Since eighth grade we all have kept spare clothes at Spencer's in case of a sleepover. I run my fingers through my hair and exit the car.

"Well just because you're here doesn't mean you have to talk to her." I mutter to myself before walking onto the house. I walked into the living room to see the girls already sitting down with popcorn on the table and the beginning titles of a movie showing on the TV.

"Emily finally you're here." Hanna says as if I had been gone for years.

"Hanna you just texted me like not even ten minutes ago." I said laughing at the blonde in front of me while ignoring the gaze of the one in the love seat.

She stuck her tongue out at me before saying "Sit down we're about to watch the Grudge and the pizza on its way." Finally returning to her spot next to Spencer and Aria leaving me with the realization that the only seat available is the one next to Alison. I inwardly sighed before weighing my options. I could sit on the floor and have my friends interrogate as to why I'm doing so or I could sit next to Alison and pretend everything is fine.

"Umm Em do plan on moving anytime soon the movies starting." Spencer said. I finally realized I was standing in the middle of the living room with the eyes of all my friends on me. I just nodded my head before sitting next Alison on the love seat. As soon as I sat down Hanna turned the lights off and started the movie.

"Hey Em." I heard the soft voice of the beauty next to me whisper as her whole body turned to look at me. Without looking at her I replied a quick nod before locking my gaze on the screen in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye my eye I saw Alison's face scrunch up in confusion before turning her gaze to the TV with a contemplative look on her face.

About half-way through the movie Alison stood and asked "I'm getting a drink does anyone want something?" The other girls shouted out what they wanted. Alison's eyes immediately landed on me "Can you help me Em?" I just nodded before walking with her into the kitchen while the other girls continued watching the movie.

As soon as I got into the kitchen Alison grabbed my arm and pulled me through the door connecting to the backyard.

"What the hell Ali." I exclaimed finally managing to break through her grip.

"Why?" Ali asked arms crossed as she looked me straight in the eyes.

"Why what?" I asked trying to play ignorant.

"Pleases Em, we both know what I'm talking about. Why have you been ignoring me?" She practically seethed through her teeth.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now how about we go inside." I said as I started to turn around. Just as I reached for the door knob I forcefully spun back to where I was, staring at a now fuming Alison.

"Oh really! That's why you've been ignoring me as if I had the plague." Alison said her voice slightly elevating. Getting a little peeved at her tone I replied "So what Alison it's not like I need to be around you 24/7." I could tell she was surprised at my tone.

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I don't like being ignored." She said taking a tentative steps toward me. Though every part of my brain screamed for my body to move, to not make this so easy for her, to finally grow a back bone, I found my body unable to do so.

She finally reached me and placed her hand on my arm, staring straight into my eyes she said "Em just tell me what I did and I'll make it up to you." As soon as I looked into those magnificent blue eyes of hers all thoughts and feelings of betrayal and anger were thrown away.

"I-I-I don't know. I'm just stressed and took that anger out on you." I lied

"Are you sure that's all it was?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm positive." Giving her my trade mark smile. After a couple of minutes she smiled back at me before pulling me into a hug "Good, I thought I lost you there for a second." I wrapped my arms around her tightly and responded "You'll never lose me."

"Good. Trustworthy friends are hard to come by." I swallowed thickly and tensed at her words. _Friends_, that's all we'll ever be. She pulled back and looked into my eye's again "Are you ok Em?"

"Yeah" I whispered staring at the features on her face, my eyes stopping at her pink lips before returning to her questioning gaze "Come on let's go inside the girls are probably wondering where we are." I said turning around and walking inside not giving her the chance to respond or halt my actions. After we got the drinks we headed back into the living room only for Hanna to run up to me and snatch the drink out of my hand with "Finally" slipping through her lips before she chugged the whole thing down.

"Hanna slow down." I said in an amused tone as Ali and I sat down after giving the other girls their drink.

"I wouldn't be so thirsty if _someone_ didn't take forever just to get a drink." She said lightly glaring at us. I just rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the movie not missing the fact that Ali shifted closer to me leaning her head on my shoulder. My heart stopped. All the nerves in my body seem to come alive and tingle as soon as her head touched my shoulder. All thoughts about the movie left my head as I felt Alison's hot breath hit my neck as she got into a comfortable position.

My nerves weren't the only things effected by Alison's sudden movement and breath as I felt an all too familiar ache form in an all too familiar think of something else. A cold shower. _"Alison in the shower" _a voice inside me offered. My mind drifted to seeing Alison's glistening body. Oh the things I would-NO. Come on Fields get ahold of yourself. Think of something. Umm….Grandpa wearing a speedo. I physically cringed at the image. All feelings of desire immediately thrown out the door replaced with great disgust. Once released from my mental war I noticed the movie had ended and my friends staring at me with amused looks.

"Something on your mind." Spencer asked with the ends of her lips tugging upward.

"No it's just the end really freaked me out." I said trying think of viable excuses for my behavior.

"Yeah because the guy saving his girlfriend and then asking her to marry him is extremely terrifying." She responded not able to hold back the smirk on her lips while Hanna and Aria chuckled and the cause of my little _detour_ merely watched on with an amused smile as I blushed ferociously.

"Ok whatever. What's next?" I said trying to get the attention off me. Alison got up walked to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of vodka and shot glasses. She smiled before saying "let's play I Never." Passing around the glasses and filling them. My eyes widened as I looked down at the glass with skepticism.

"Ok. Everyone take one shot just to loosen yourself up and then let the games begin." Alison said soon downing her shot.

"Ali we have school tomorrow." Spencer said in a defiant tone. I internally jumped for joy and praised Spencer's studious attitude for the first time.

"Spence stop being such worry wart." Alison replied with a roll of her eyes and a bored expression covering her face.

"I am no such thing." Spencer said looking around at all of us who were doing a pretty good job avoiding her gaze "Am I?" She asked before taking her shot glass looking at Ali who had a smirk on her face and chugging it as our eyes widened in surprise. Great she chooses the one day I need her to be responsible Spencer to want to prove her rebellious side. After her Hanna took her shot next followed by Aria. The girls stared at me and my full glass.

"I have a meet tomorrow." I tried weakly. Ali just gave me look. I sighed before downing me glass. Alison filled the glasses again before explaining the game.

"Ok here are the rules, you say something you've never done before and those who have down a shot. Simple enough." Ali said "Ok who wants to go first. Aria?"

"Umm ok. I've never cheated on a test." She said hesitantly.

"Lame." Hanna said before downing her shot along with Ali and myself. I looked up to see Spencer looking at me with disapproval. "What?" I asked

"Them I expected, you not so much. Who'd you cheated off of?" She asked curiously. I smiled at her cheekily and replied "Remember that test in 9th grade where I got a perfect score and you got a 99" she nodded vigorously "I saw the answer key before the test and remembered the answers." I finished off having to duck away from a pillow being thrown at my head.

"I spent weeks trying to figure out how you beat me!" Spencer exclaimed.

"Spence chill." I laughed along with the other girls as she looked at me as if I was crazy, but before she could speak further about the subject Alison interjected "Though it was funny to see Spencer lose her shit over a 9th grade test. As we continue the truths should be more outrageous than cheating on a test. Hanna your turn." She finished as she refilled the empty shot glasses.

"I've never not had sex." I was shocked to see I was the only one who drunk on that. I almost spit out my drink as I exclaimed "You've all had sex." They nodded. "I know Hanna and Caleb mate like their rabbits, but how did you- when did you- what?" I exasperated after not knowing how to continue. Spencer was the first to speak.

"Well I lost mine over the summer to Toby we've kind of been secretly dating." She looked down avoiding our gazes. We all looked at her with wide eyes.

"Damn Spence didn't know you had it in you. Good girls always go for the bad boys" Alison smirked as Spencer blushed before saying "What about you Aria?"

"Well I was at Ezra's apartment and well one thing led to another and…" She finished off.

"Do you guys like bang in the classroom." Hanna asked with an accusing tone.

"Hanna!" Aria scolded.

"What its honest question. I just want to know that when I lay my head on my desk I'm not laying on anyone's bodily fluid." We all cringed.

"No Hanna we have not slept together in the class room." Aria fumed at her though it was funny because her face was completely red.

"What about you Alison. Who was your first time with?" Hanna asked as they stared at Alison awaiting her answer to a question I never wanted to know.

"Ian." She said simply as if it was nothing.

"Ian as in my sister's ex-boyfriend Ian." Spencer asked with wide eyes though I don't think it matched that of my own.

"Yup" She said in the same tone as before.

"Ali how could you?" Spencer asked with a disgusted tone.

"What's done is done and it's not like I forced him to do anything he didn't want to. He was after me for some time and I was ready to lose my V-card so I just gave in." Ali said in a tone and look that said question me and you'll be sorry though that didn't remove the disgusted look from spencer's face or the knife slowly and painfully chopping my heart in pieces. I looked at my drink before downing it and three others after it. Looking up I met the girls shocked faces while feeling slightly intoxicated.

"It's ok that you didn't lose your virginity yet. Do it when you're ready." Hanna said softly thinking that was the problem. Aria and Spencer both sent me warm smiles while Alison gave me a look I couldn't decipher. I just nodded before saying "Spence your turn."

She contemplated before saying "I've never kissed a girl before." To my surprise Alison downed her shot and said "What I wanted to experiment and see what it was like."

"Who?" Hanna said wanting to know badly.

"I don't kiss and tell." Alison said with a satisfied smirk.

"Emily are you ok." Spencer asked seeing as I hadn't looked up from my glass and could feel the color drain from my face as soon as the question was asked. I looked into my shot glass for a long time. I don't know if it was Ali's answer or the amount of alcohol in my blood, but before I knew it I was slowly pulling it to my face and drinking it. I heard audible gasp from the girls.

"Em you've kissed a girl." Aria asked. I just nodded my eyes never leaving my empty glass.

"What why?" Spencer asked in a curious tone.

"I wanted to see something." I said barely over a whisper not caring if they heard me or not.

"What?" Hanna asked in a soft tone.

I took a shaky breath as tears blurred my vision "If-if-if I liked it." I finally chocked out.

"Em what are you trying to say." Aria asked putting her hand over mine as an act of comfort. I couldn't help but notice Alison's sudden silence.

"I-I-I am- I'm gay." The room went silent as tears cascaded down my face. What did I just do?


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Hey guys let me start off by apologizing for the long delay for this chapter. First I got sick and was sick for two weeks then when I started to feel a tad better I got another cold on top of the one I had. I for one didn't know that was possible, but I can't explain it any other way. Then I had to read two books and write 4-5 page essay analyzing the books using themes and philosophical language, so I've been busy. This is not to make an excuse, just to let you know that I haven't forgotten the story, I've just haven't had any time to write. So without further ado here is the next chapter. **

**Emily POV **

"You're what?" Hanna asked in a whisper.

"I'm gay." I said more confidently, but still softly. There was a long pause before anyone spoke again.

"Wow Em I-I- how long have you been gay." Spencer asked I could tell she was unsure of how to word it probably a first for her. Before I could answer Hanna forcefully chirped in "It's not like she randomly became this one day Spence. It's not a choice."

Spencer piped up a "sorry." Before looking down at her hands. Knowing Spencer meant no harm and was only being her normal curious self I responded "It's okay Spence I know what you meant and I guess I've always known, you know. Somewhere deep down." I said looking at anything, but their faces until I heard Hanna start to speak.

"I'm sorry this wasn't the first thing I said, but Em you know this doesn't change anything. I love you no matter what. It doesn't change who you are it only means I have to start telling girls about how amazing you are instead of guys, but you're still the same old Emily Fields." Hanna said Finishing with a radiant smile at the end. This was one thing I absolutely loved about Hanna. She might not be the brightest person in regards to school, but when it comes to being a true friend you couldn't have any one better. I smiled a true smile back at her.

"Yeah Em it doesn't matter we love you and that's never going to change." Aria said as she got up and hugged me followed by Hanna and then Spencer who said "And if any one gives you any crap we'll handle them." I smiled as she decided to ruffle my hair as she pulled out of the hug. The one thing I didn't fail to notice was the silence and lack of support coming from the blonde in the corner. I saw Hanna notice this as well and was about to ask Alison what her problem was. Before she could say anything Aria piped up "So are we the only ones who know or do your parents know too?"

I couldn't hold back my laughter "Your joking right?" Seeing her face I could tell she was serious and continued "My dad Mr. Military man and my mom the most religious person I've ever met who I might add has a very opinionated view about the gay society. Yeah they were the first people I told." They looked at me with a sympathetic gaze before I said "Well we should really get to bed. I have a meet tomorrow and Coach would kill me if I came in tired."

They all nodded before Spencer followed by Aria and Hanna went upstairs. I was just behind them before I felt a tug on my arm. I turned and found myself looking into Alison's blue eyes. I gave her a questioning look. She didn't answer, but pulled me into the kitchen. My back hitting the counter as she stared intensely into my eyes. We were so close I could feel every inhale and exhale she took.

"You know-" she started off so softly if I wasn't this close I'm positive I wouldn't hear her. "I might not have said it, but I hope you know that I don't care either. You'll always be my killer." She ended with an endearing smile that melted everything inside of me.

"I told you something personal about me tonight. Something I never thought I'd tell anyone. So if I ask you one question. A question where you have to tell me the truth would you answer?" I spoke just as softly as she did. It was almost as if we spoke any louder reality would crash in and steal the moment away from us. Her only response was a nod. With alcohol still running through my veins I bravely asked "Why do you pretend to be heartless?" It was something that always plagued my mind.

She was quiet for what felt like hours though I know only a few minutes had passed by. She finally answered "Because if I wasn't where would I be today?"

I paused before saying "Happy."

"That's one thing I've always envied about you Em, you were always big on happy endings, but I know I'll never have one. I'm mean, bitchy and if I wasn't on top I'm sure no one would pay any attention to me at all. Do you want to know what my mother said the first day of Middle School?" She said with a dark laugh. "She said _you are to be the most intelligent and envied person in the school. Don't let feelings get in your way or you'll end up regretting everything you do, don't worry they only make you stupid anyway. You must uphold our family name, but the most important thing is to make sure you're __**never**__ forgotten darling._ All the while she was pampering over me to make sure I looked perfect and the last thing she said to me before I left was _you should probably lose some weight while you're at it_. " She stepped away causing a gap to develop between us. Tears started to flow from her eyes.

"Are you really willing to lose yourself just to be remembered?" She didn't answer right away only giving me a sad smile.

"It's the only thing I can do. Spencer is the most intelligent person in our grade. You wouldn't believe how much my mom yelled at me when she found out. _This_ is the only thing I have Em. It's the only thing keeping me from forever being forgotten." As she ended I stepped closer so the gap was once again closed. I pulled my hands up to her face and started to wipe away the tears as I said "You shouldn't keep your feelings behind walls Ali. That's not living. That just floating by living on the expectations of others and not yourself. Can't you see how amazing you are?" She just laughed.

"I wish I had the power to show you yourself through my eyes. Then and only then would you see how special you are when you're not hiding behind walls." I said while wiping away the last stray tear.

"Maybe I'm just waiting to see who cares enough to break them down." Before I could respond she said "We should really get some sleep." She turned away and went to upstairs. I just stayed downstairs trying to process the information I just received. I finally snapped out of it and went upstairs to get some well-deserved sleep. When I got to Spencer's room everyone else had already gone to sleep. I just plopped down on the floor next to Hanna and fell asleep wondering what the morning would bring.

**I hoped you liked it. Let me know what you think **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hi guys. How are you? Sorry for the huge gap, I've been working on my college entry essays and trying to finish applying to all my schools, though enough about me. I would like to thank SilverDeer08, ****Jessica851****, ****Monet00****, ****Drea82581****, Anon, ****Jessica851****, and ****leon7272** **for your reviews they really know how make a girl smile on a stressful day. I hope you enjoy the chapter R&amp;R or if you have any questions for me leave a review or send me a PM. Enjoy! **

**Emily POV**

I woke with a start as I looked around trying to grasp my bearings. Soon I recognized the room as Spencer's and that the girls were around me. As I looked to the side of the room at the clock, 4:00am flashed in red bright printing back at me. I let out a little sigh knowing I would not be able to get back to sleep. I carefully and silently maneuvered my way out of the room making sure I didn't wake any of the girls. Once I was outside of the room I headed towards backyard and sat down on the steps. I took a deep breath as the events from last night slowly embedded themselves into my mind.

I felt a great sense of relief that I was finally able to tell the girls the truth, even though it took alcohol to get me there. My mind soon found its way back to that of my fixation and the answer she provided me last night.

_Maybe I'm just waiting to see who cares enough to break them down._

Could she really not see how much I loved her? How much everything she did affected me? How, if she gave me the chance I wouldn't hesitate break down any and every wall she built? As I sat there contemplating everything I failed to notice the person sitting next to me until she put a comforting hand on my thigh. I nearly jumped out of my skin until I saw it was Hanna. Releasing a shuddery breath I asked "Hanna what are you doing out here."

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice my best friend sneaking out into the night?" She said with a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I thought I was quiet. Sorry I woke you." I said not facing her, but instead looking out into the darkness.

"I honestly don't care that you woke me." She said. Hanna the queen of beauty sleep not caring that she was woken before the sun rose. I just gave her an incredulous glance before returning my gaze back towards the blackness. It was a little while before anyone spoke again.

"Emmy what's wrong." She asked in soft voice. She and my dad were the only ones who ever called me that.

_Flashback_

_I was six years old and playing at the park with Hanna. We were on the swings when I saw a man approaching me. As he got closer I was able to get a better look at him and soon jumped off my swing and ran at full force. I could faintly hear Hanna in the background calling my name, but nothing mattered except the man in front of me._

"_Daddy!" I cried as I flung myself at him. He caught me and replied "Emmy. I missed you so much." After a hugging session I noticed Hanna standing staring at us with a confused look._

"_Hanna this is my daddy. Daddy this Hanna my bestest friend in the whole world." I said as my dad just smiled at both of us._

"_Emmy who's Emmy I thought your name was Emily." Hanna asked her confused face remaining. _

"_It is daddy just calls me that sometimes." I reply as she thought over my answer before smiling and asking "Can I call you Emmy too?" I looked at daddy for the answer. He just smiled and bent down in front of Hanna._

"_I'm the only one who calls Emily Emmy." He said and Hanna's face fell. Then he continued "Though seeing as you are her bestest friend in the whole world I think it would ok if you called her that too, but only you and I are allowed ok." He ended smiling at her before she hugged him and smiled at Emily showcasing her missing front tooth._

"_Did you here that? You're my Emmy now too" She hugged me before we started playing again._

_End of Flashback_

I held a small nostalgic smile on my face as Hanna asked "What are you smiling about."

"Just thinking about the first time you called me Emmy." I said.

"You know you're still my Emmy and it hurts to see you hurting." She said turning her body to look at me completely.

"I'm sorry-no before you interrupt this needs to be said- I'm sorry. Your right you are my best friend and I've been hiding myself from you and that's not right. I was just scared. I didn't want you to think I was weird or disgusting. I just wanted to be Emmy, your best friend without something destroying or tarnishing that." I said looking down at my hands as tears started to build in my eyes.

"You could never destroy are friendship no matter what, especially over something like this. I don't love you because of who you choose to love, I love you because your heart is so big and beautiful that it would be impossible to not be your friend. Ok?" She said lifting my chin and looking into my eyes. I just nodded my head.

"Now let's move on to more important things like do you like check me out? I know I'm hot and it would be hard not, but I don't know how Caleb would feel about that. On second thought he'd probably come up with some weird fantasy." Hanna said wiggling her eyebrows at me as I smiled and gave her a small push.

"No Hanna I do not check you out." I said with a smile playing at my lips.

"That's right you've got your eyes on another blonde." She said in a wistful tone. I stared at her in disbelief. "What you think I wouldn't notice the looks you give her? Or how affected you get when she's near? I didn't have a name for it until you came out last night, but if that's not love I don't know what is."

"And what do you think about me feeling that way for her." I asked softly.

"I think it's up to you." She said.

"Hanna really what do you think." I asked with a more pleading tone.

"Honestly… I don't think she deserves you, but if you feel that way about her I know there must be something more that I'm missing." She finally said.

"There is. I don't know how to explain it, but there's more to her than what everybody suspects." I said almost trying to further convince myself.

"Then I'll be here for you every step of the way. Even if that means finding you a hot a girl to sleep with to make Ali jealous." Hanna said with a smirk.

"Hanna really." I asked though I couldn't stop the chuckle from making its way out of my mouth.

"Come on, the others are probably going to wake up soon and we need to get ready for school." She said standing up pulling me with her.

By the time we got upstairs the girls were indeed waking up. We all got ready and soon left for school. I was afraid that there would be some awkwardness after everything that was said, but they all treated me the same, which I was forever grateful for. Once we arrived at school and walked into the building I was bombarded by the swim team.

"Hey Fields you ready for today." One of the girls called out.

"Yeah I think I'm prepared." I said still a little distracted from my conversation with Hanna this morning.

"There's no thinking Fields. It's either you are or you aren't and I hope for your sake it's not the latter." The girl known as Jessica said as the rest of the girls nodded their heads in agreement.

"Hey it's not like Emily is the only girl on the team. If you do your part killer will do hers. Now go back to the boring existence you inhabited before we came in." Ali said before pulling me and the other girls to our first period class. As we sat down I turned toward Alison and said "Thanks Ali." She replied with a small smile before turning to Hanna and starting a conversation about some new fashion trend.

The further into the day I got the more the nervous sensation in me grew. I walked into the locker room to find myself alone. I closed my eyes and tried to take a quick calming breath. I started counting in my head, but before I could reach 8 I felt a pressure on my arms. I opened my eyes only to find myself staring into the beautiful blue that ones that accompanied Alison. I felt my breath hitch at our close proximity.

"Ali what are you doing here." I said softly as her eyes traveled back from my lips to my eyes.

"Well I decided you would probably be nervous about the meet and came to wish you luck before you went out there." She said with a smile gracing her lovely lips.

"Thanks Ali that means a lot." I said gently pulling her into a tight hug. Relishing in the way her body so graciously fitted into mine. I slightly pulled back to stare into the eyes that so effortlessly controlled my very being. I felt a tug and soon found myself a millimeter away from the lips I so desperately wanted to taste. The locker room door slammed opened and we immediately jumped away from each other. I looked back at Ali only to find myself gazing at her the back of her head as it disappeared out of the locker room. I sighed cursing those who walked in using every expletive I knew.

Finally changed into my suit I went and joined the rest of my team. Looking in the crowd at my group with a big smile only to have it melt away when noticing a certain blonde missing. Consumed in my thoughts I was vaguely aware of my teammate in front of me jumping in the water until my coach roughly shook me from my stupor.

With an iron grip on my arm the coach said "Wake up Fields were behind and I can't have you going in there losing the game." Well ok. Didn't she just say we were behind? How in the flying fuck was that my fault. Before I had the chance to respond I saw my teammate approach and got ready before jumping into the water. As soon as the cool water encompassed me I felt every semblance of reality slip away as I got into a quick pace successfully reaching my opponent in a matter of seconds. I started pushing myself harder and harder until I saw the wall quickly approaching. I reached out with all my might until the feeling a cement met my hand. I pulled myself and was bombarded with sounds of victory coming from our side of the benches. My teammates tackled me into hugs and gave me pats on the back. Oh now their nice to me. I shook my head and walked over to my group of friends with a large smile on my face.

"You know what this means don't you." Hanna said when I reached them. I shook my head in confusion.

She gave an exasperated sigh before saying "Now that your meet is over we have to go shopping for Noel's party on Saturday." I cringed at the idea of going over that good for nothing idiotic toad face son a bitch's house. Yeah, I really wasn't looking forward to that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: Hey guys. Yes, I know I'm a down right bum for not updating sorry****. Well I have found myself experiencing that crazy thing we call life and have just been in a complete world wind in regards to the things I have to get done. I would like to thank Guest, InLoveWithEmison, Jessica851, Tere, Drea82581, Naomiiii, leon7272, and OnlyAsNerdyAsYou for your comments. Also all those who followed and/or favorited the story you have my deepest thanks. All mistakes are my own. I have no beta so….. yeah. Ok now on to the story.**

**Emily POV**

The rest of the week passed by relatively fast to my disappointment. Until it was the most dreaded day of Noel's party. I was sitting in my room strumming some melodies on my guitar when my phone started to ring.

"Hello" I answered not looking at who was calling.

"Hey Em, I was wondering if you wanted to come by to get ready for the party tonight." The soft pleasing voice that answered was one I could never forget.

"Hey Ali" I said as a soft smile developed on my face. I turned my attention to the clock in my room that showed it was only 11:00am. "You do realize we have like 9 hours until the party actually starts." I said in playfully mocking voice.

Her beautiful laugh sounded over the phone "Yes, I know but you can't fault me for wanting to spend a little time with you. We haven't hung out just the two of us in a while."

I swear my heart stopped beating until I felt a burning sensation in my lungs and remembered that as a human being I needed air to survive and took a deep breath. "Em, you there?" I heard her ask. "Ye-ye-yeah" came out in a squeaky voice until I coughed a few times and answered more confidently. Well at least in a less squeaky voice "Yeah, sorry something got stuck in my throat and yeah I miss hanging out just the two of us too. I'll be around in like thirty minutes. Is that ok?" Biting my lips trying to hold in the excited squeal that wanted to be released.

"Yeah, that perfect see you then." She said before hanging up.

I jumped onto my bed and started a jumping, spinning running man concoction. Until I turned around and saw my mom standing there with the clean and folded laundry. Any other time I would have come up with some type of excuse, but I was too happy to do so. I just hopped off my bed and looked at her sheepishly.

"I don't want to know." My mother said giving me a strange look before heading over my dresser to put my clothes in. Before she put everything in I took a pair of ripped skinny jeans I remembered looking flattering on me, and my favorite shirt that went perfectly with my black leather jacket. I then ran full speed into the bathroom. I showered and dressed. When I returned to my room I found my mom sitting at the end of my bed holding the picture of my dad I kept on my night stand.

"Mom." I asked softly to not startle her. When she looked up I saw she had tears in her eyes. I went and hugged her.

"It's ok mom. I miss him too. He'll be home soon we just have to be patient." She just smiled at me and looked around until her gaze landed on my guitar. She laughed. "You know, when we were younger I thought I was going to have to be the wife of a rock star. Your father loved to sing. I just couldn't see myself wearing tight leather pants and watching him on stage." She said causing me to burst out in a fit of laughter. I could never see _MY _mother the wife of a rock star. Maybe in some really messed up alternative universe. I shudder at the thought of her wearing anything _tight_.

"Thankfully that didn't happen. Though at times like this I would gladly switch just to have some time with your father." She said with a sad voice.

"I know mom. Me too." We hugged once more before she got up to leave, but stopped at the door and turned around to me.

"You wouldn't guess who I ran into at the supermarket" She said.

"Who?" I asked while putting on my shoes. Then heading for my leather jacket.

"Ben and his mother. You want to know what he told me." She said a little tensely.

"I don't know. What did he tell you?" I asked innocently. I knew exactly what that bastard told her. But something tells me he forgot to add his rapist tendencies.

"He said he's heartbroken over the break-up and wish you would just listen and take him back so he could treat you the way you deserve to be treated." She said.

We were having such a nice mother daughter moment just a minute ago. I sighed picked up my bag and walked around my mother before saying ''Mom it's over. I don't like Ben. Not as a boyfriend not even as a person. I'll be at Ali's and then were spending the night at Spencer's. Bye." I didn't wait for a response, headed out the door to my car and drove off.

Once I reached Alison's house I felt all the frustration I had at my mother disappear. I ringed the bell and was surprised how fast Alison answered the door. It must have showed on my face because she responded. "I had nothing to do so I waited for you come on let's go to my room." She took my hand and began to pull me up the stairs though I was too focused on the way her hand fit perfectly in mine.

Once we reached her room she let go of my hand and I sat in her desk chair while she took the bed. That's when I finally noticed what she was wearing. A pair of tight fitted jeans that showed of her nicely rounded STOP. I tried to look up to take my mind off how well her jeans only to be distracted by her low and I mean low V-neck. My palms became extremely sweaty and my leather jacket started to feel like a furnace.

"Em are you ok? You look a little flushed." She asked as she walked over to me and felt my face.

"I'm f-f-f-fi-ne. Just a little parched." I said trying to stop the trebling in my voice. She smiled a told me she'd be back with a bottle of water.

Ok Emily breathe. Just because you're at Alison's house alone. With no one able to interrupt and her looking more than scrumptious. Whoa there. Breathe. In-out-in-out. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to find Alison's worried eyes looking into mine. "Are you sure you're ok?" She asked.

"Yeah fine. Just a bit hot." In more ways than one I thought to myself.

"Why don't you take off your jacket?" Alison said as she put the drinks down and started to pull on my leather jacket. I took off my jacket and began to feel better until my brain started to think of all the other clothes Alison could help me take off and how I could help her in return. I snatched the water off the desk and chugged it down. Alison gave me her renowned eyebrow lift to which I answered with a sheepish smile.

She sat back on her bed so she leaning on the headboard and patted the spot next to her. I gulped before slipping off my shoes and joining her.

"So how has life been?" She asked as she took a magazine on her bed and started flip through it.

"It's been hectic. Coach seems to think I'm the only player on the team and my mom is constantly nagging me to get back with Ben even though I tell that I don't want to. I miss my dad. I just feel I he was here everything wouldn't seem so bleak." I ended with a sigh. Alison grabbed my hand in hers and began playing with my fingers before she responded.

"Well, your coach is a bitch and you should tell her to go fuck herself because if you weren't on the team they would have never made it past the first meet. If you don't want to be with Ben then don't. No matter what your mom says your happiness counts more than hers. Though you never did tell me why you broke up." She looked at me, but I said nothing. She gave me a look that said she would get it out of me one way or another before she continued. "And as for you missing your dad, well that's completely normal. Your dad is amazing and if he was my dad I'd miss him a lot too." She finished with a small smile.

There she was. The girl no one else knew. The girl that was hidden by the layers of carefully placed deceit. The girl I loved.

"Thanks Ali that means a lot." I said as a large smile appeared on my face. I looked into her eyes and found myself lost in the depths of blue. A golden lock fell in her face obscuring my view of her blue depths and before I could fathom it my hand reached up and placed the lock behind her ear then rested itself on her cheek. My thumb moving on its own accord as it gently rubbed the smooth skin under it. She leaned into my touch. My gaze then shifted to her pink lips. I felt myself lean in closer as saw her do the same. Our lips had the barest of touches before Ali's bedroom door opened. We jumped apart and I saw Ali quickly pick up her magazine pretending she had been reading the whole time.

I looked up and saw Hanna looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I just looked at her. Before I could make any movement Aria and Spencer came through the door.

"Hanna don't just stand in the doorway." Said Spencer as she pushed her way inside the room.

Finally finding my voice I said "What are you guys doing here so early?"

They all gave me strange looks and Spencer responded "We said we'd meet at 2:00 and its 2:00 so here we are." I looked over and saw she was right. Damn how long was I looking into Alison's eyes? I looked over at her and found her with a bored expression on her face before she got up and said "Well let's get started we don't want to show up looking hideous. That means nothing from your wardrobe Aria." Well there's the mask again. I sighed got up and began a conversation with Aria before she got it in her head to kill Alison. Based on the look she was giving her it wouldn't be long.

"Aria what are you doing here I thought you had a date with Mr-Ezra." I caught myself still needing to get used to calling him that.

"The principle decided the teachers needed to come in for some type of teachers' development. It's from 8:00am-10:00pm. He said I should go with you guys and have fun at the party." I nodded and was soon ushered off by Hanna as we all started our party ritual. First was hair and makeup then was the trying on of all the dresses Ali owned which was quite a lot. By the time we finished hours had passed and we were finally ready to go to the party. If Alison looked scrumptious earlier she looked fucking beautiful now in her black thigh length dressed. She had makeup on though not enough to overshadow her natural beauty. Damn. The bell rung knocking me out of my thoughts. We all headed downstairs to see who it was. It was then that I remembered why I didn't want to go to the party in the first place.

Noel fucking Kahn was at the door with a single rose. Alison gazed back at me with undistinguishable look before going over to Noel and hugging him taking the rose as she pulled away from his hand. Noel for his part could not keep his disgusting lecherous eyes from wandering Alison's body.

"Damn Ali you look hot." Said Noel. Correction I thought, she looked fucking beautiful.

"Come on I can't be late to my own party. See you guys there." He said as he took Alison's hand and walked away. I looked over and caught Hanna's eye she gave me a small smile before saying come on guys "Toby and Caleb are already there let's get going."

We all hopped into Spencer's car as she assigned herself the designated driver for the night. Once we reached Noel's cabin we saw the party was in full blast. With smiles on our faces we went in and Hanna immediately pulled me onto the dance floor and that's how we spent most of the night. Though I mostly danced with Aria seeing as she was by herself and we didn't want to get between the two couples too much. I constantly looked around for Alison, but didn't see any sign of her. We were tired of dancing and found a corner to rest or for "_Haleb_" and "_Spoby_" a suitable place to make out.

I just shook my head before turning to Aria and asked "would you like a drink?" She nodded and thanked me. I got two cold beers and was on my way back when I spotted them. Alison and Noel heavily making out on a wall as he grinded himself on her. The duct tape that was holding my heart together fell off as my heart dropped to my stomach and shattered. I took the beers and went outside and began to chug. When they were both finished I went inside and found a bottle of tequila. Perfect.

I went outside and kept drinking until there was nothing left in the bottle. I laughed because as I turned the bottle upside down how a boat could fit in it and how the people on the boat would react to be turned upside down. Once I stopped laughing I picked myself up only to find myself hold onto a fist full of grass. That's not right. I tried get up again, but this time fell on my ass. Closer than before thought. Until I finally grabbed onto something or someone I really don't know or care and began to head inside.

Everything was pumping and moving so fast. Until someone pulled me on the dance floor. I tried to keep up, but kept tripping over myself and who ever I was dancing with. Until I finally gave up and just stood there swaying and laughing. The world was spinning until it finally stopped on a small familiar person.

"ARIA!" I screamed giving her a big hug.

"Em, where have you been we have been looking everywhere for you." She said as she tried to steady me. "Wow ok your drunk." She looked back at Hanna for help Hanna came and grabbed my other arm.

"I'm not drunk." I said as I turned to her my finger in her face as I swayed. "Well maybe a little." I admitted before bursting out into laughter.

"Wow drunk Emmy is a happy one." Hanna laughed as she tried to guide me out of the party. I just turned to her and hugged her before saying "You're such a good friend. You're my bestest friend in the world I love you." I then turned to Aria and Spencer and said the same thing pulling them all into a three way hug.

"We love you to Emmy. Come on let's go to the car and talk about how much we care for each other." I nodded at Hanna and allowed her to take me to the car. Just as we were about to get. Alison made her appearance. She looked at me and smiled saying "Looks like our little killer has had a little too much to drink." I just looked at her for a second before turning my back to her and getting into the car laying down. My eyes felt heavy so I closed it couldn't have been a second later that Hanna was waking me up telling me we were there.

"Come one Em. Get up." She said as she tried to pull me up. I just shook my head. She growled. I felt a pair of hands pull me again though I knew it wasn't Hanna's seeing as her hands never sent a chill down my back.

"Come on please." I looked up into Alison's eyes. Stupid fucking blue eyes that trap a person never letting them go. I felt my anger slowly begin to dissipate.

"Stupid fucking blue eyes." I muttered though I could have sworn I saw a small smile on Alison's face.

"You guys head inside I'll get her ready for bed. Spence we'll take the guest room." They all agreed. Alison slowly pulled me up to the bathroom and sat me on the toilet seat. I was in a daze as she rushed around to quickly for my mind to recognize what she was doing. I heard something spraying, but didn't know what it was.

"Ok Em I turned the shower on and have gotten your clothes ready. Do you think you'll be able to shower?" I just gave her a reproachful look before nodding. She gave me a small smile and left the bathroom. I ran my hand through my hair and discarded my clothes before hopping in the shower. I literally hopped in the shower and almost died wondering why so many people hop in showers if it was dangerous. The rest of the shower was a daze as was getting dressed. When I finally done I exited the bathroom to find Alison standing there.

She took my arm and guided me towards the bedroom. I soon found myself laying down under the covers and felt Alison get in next to me. I turned myself to make sure I wasn't facing her.

"Em, what's wrong?" She softly asked me after a while. I said nothing. I felt a pressure on my shoulder as she rolled me over so I was facing the ceiling. I kept my eyes forward not daring a glance at her.

"Em, please just tell me." She said.

"I saw you and Noel Kissing." I said with disgust.

"Why wou—." She started

"You fucking know why Alison. And that's the worst part because you have to know." I said shaking my head.

"Know what?" She said turning my face so that I was looking into her eyes.

"Know that I fucking love you." I said turning my body fully towards her. "Know that you're all I fucking think about. That I hate myself for loving someone who will never love me back. That whenever I see you I get so lost in your eyes everything else seems non-existent. That all I dream about is day that I'll finally be able to kiss you." I finish off in a whisper. I couldn't see Alison properly through the tears in my eyes. Fuck it. I grabbed the back of her head and smashed her lips to mine. Perfection.

I kissed her hungrily and to my surprise she was kissing me back just as eagerly. I rolled and found myself on top of her as I continued to devour her mouth. I felt as if I was in the desert for years and finally found water to quench my needing thirst. She gasped for air and I used this moment to thrust my tongue into her mouth. As soon as our tongues met a loud moan enveloped the room. Though I couldn't tell who it came from, I suspect both of us. My mouth soon traveled from her mouth to her beautiful neck and started attacking it with kisses and bits. My hips acted on their own as they began to grind themselves into Alison. She let out a load moan before putting her hands on my shoulders signaling me to stop.

As I looked down at her I was met with the sexiest sight I've ever seen. She was breathless. Her mouth was swollen and meaty red from kissing. Her hair was disheveled and she had pink stains all over her neck. I was going to go back for more, but her hands were firmly on my shoulders.

"Em we have to stop." She said through pants. I looked at her before rolling off her.

"Em wha-." She started but couldn't seem to find the words.

"I just thought you should know." I said as I rolled to my side of the bed closing my eyes allowing the darkness to take over.

* * *

The next morning I woke up feeling as if a truck had run over my head. Where was I? I looked and saw the familiar wall paper of Spencer's guest room. How did I get here? I slowly got up and was trying to work through the blur that was last night when a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Here." Alison said handing me Advil and a water bottle. I thanked her before taking the pill.

"What happened last night?" I asked. She looked at me with a vacant expression.

"You don't remember?" She asked eyeing me up and down.

"No, did something happen. Please tell me I didn't make a fool out of myself." I said looking at her. She moved over to where I was sitting. She laid her hand on my cheek. I couldn't help but lean into her embrace. She turned my head so I was looking directly into her eyes.

"Trust me Em, you didn't do anything foolish or embarrassing last night. Never forget that" She gave me a smile and a look I couldn't decipher. Before I could further question her she kissed me on the forehead and went out the room. I stared at the spot she had just left.

"What the fuck happened last night?"


	7. Authors Note

**Hi guys remember me I' that terrible person who never seems to update. I'm sorry there's honestly no excuse, but that funny thing we call life and growing up. I'm a freshman in college and have a lot on my plate though I don't want anyone to think I've forgotten about this story. I just don't have the efficient amount of time to write and I'd rather not give you guys a sorry attempts at a chapter. Though I can promise a full reboot between the end of November and mid December. I should be done with finals and have a month or so break to get this story to where I want it. I really miss writing and I have so many different ideas for various parings. Also I should apologize for this not being an actual update I know I hate it when I get excited only to find an AA message. I would also like to think all of you who followed/favorited and/or reviewed it means a lot to me that you like my story. If you have any questions about anything just PM or leave a review and I'll get back as soon as possible. **


End file.
